theknittyvritti

steven meisel and kate moss--not!

Operations Man and I don't do so well on these photo shoots. Here you have me trying to imitate one of those languid poses from Victorian Lace Today. But there's only about ten minutes of charge on the camera, and if you look close, you will see that my dress is on inside out, and already OM is getting bored, so there's no way he wants to wait for me to change and then take about twenty more pictures until I think it's right---even if the camera would cooperate.

No matter. I think you get the general idea. The shawl works with the dress. And it has a soft , feminine quality. I don't understand why people worry that shawls are old-lady-ish--I think they are kind of girlish in an elegant way that works on younger and older women.

And the knitted on border frames my neck in a very pretty way. I'm looking forward to wearing this. So is Myrtle--she's figured out that that's the only way she's getting out of the house!

myrtle becomes a lady

Out came the blocking board and the water bottle.

And Myrtle was stretched mercilessly into her finished form. I felt like a mother forcing her tomboy to have her haired curled with a curling iron. Myrtle squirmed, but to no avail.  Her days as a free spirit, travelling about in a bag, are over.

I took Myrtle out for a last walk in the woods. After all, in her new life, she will be a city girl, worn with dresses.

She lingered near some hens and chicks.

At the end of our walk, I set her down among the roses. It was a last moment outdoors. She looked back towards the woods and inhaled the scent of the flowers. She's being a pretty good sport, and has even agreed to model herself in the dress she was made for later this week.

rounding the bend

Myrtle and I compromised this weekend. She's an outdoor girl, and I'm an indoor girl, so we met on the screen porch. One of my favorite places. I wait for the days when it's warm enough to hang out there all day, and this weekend, with ninety degree plus days, it was the place to be.

Exciting things happened there! I figured out the knitted on border for Myrtle last week, and this weekend, we rounded two corners. I'm hoping that I will finish the border this week, because then I will be blocking Myrtle next weekend.

Dinner was served on the porch as well. Myrtle was not invited. She is not a great conversationalist,  and has done such a beautiful job of keeping herself clean through her knitting process that there was no way she was going to risk a big stain. She's also looking forward to modeling next week, and she'd prefer to skip the extra calories.  What vanity.

it's not mortal, myrtle

The dog has terrible separation anxiety. Always has. Not treatable by me, and we're too flattered by it to call in the dog whisperer for help.

Anyway, Myrtle spent a glorious weekend out of doors, but all good things must end. I brought her inside, put her in the plastic baggie she's been living in during her formative months, and left the house to do some errands.  When I returned, the baggie was in shreds on the floor, and Myrtle was lying limply on the couch. I couldn't even look at her, but two days later, I have inspected her, and she seems to be only slightly injured. She won't be perfect, but I think I can patch together the one place that the neurotic dog mouthed her.

Thankfully, the dog now simply mouths something gently when we leave. Used to be, she would chew holes in anything leather--shoes, handbag straps--or the sheets and duvet covers. Unfortunately, gently mouthing lace, when you're a dog, means getting something stuck in your big sharp teeth, which means a teeny little rip in Myrtle in this case.

I didn't forgive the dog for a few hours, and she skulked pathetically whenever she saw me.

you say tomato

                                                                                                                                                        KV's musings:

I had the best weekend with Myrtle!! She went with me to a talk about the concept of the self, and I have to say, she was the perfect date. She's easy enough to knit that I could listen and work on her at the same time. I don't know what I was thinking. That Cobweb stole--I just know it will be really demanding. I can't see how I'll ever be able to do anything elsewhile I'm working on it. All I ever read about it tells me that it is a high maintenance date. And then there's Myrtle---low maintenance as they come, for lace, anyway. Maybe Dr. KV is right--there's something rewarding that can come out of project monogamy? Could this be a breakthrough?!?

Myrtle's musings:

Thank the goddess that I'm back in the garden where I belong. I had the most nightmarish weekend. KV took me to a lecture. Heidigger, Foucault, Hegel, Binswanger, Janet---I thought I was going to explode. It was beautiful outside, too--the sun poking through after days of clouds. I spent the whole time staring out the window. I don't really know how I'm going to make it in this relationship. And to think that just a week ago, I was confronting KV about exclusivity. Exclusivity!! No way. I wish KV would just move on...the Cobweb stole..anything but me.

Of course, I'd like to be finished by summer, I'd love to spend summer wrapped around someone's shoulders, soaking in the cool air. And staying with KV is the only way I'm going to get there. Still, I have half a mind to spoil myself---roll around in this dirt until I'm just not a viable project.....but I don't think I can bring myself to it...sigh...maybe the next lecture will be Thoreau? I think I could manage that....

conjoint therapy

In an unusual move, Myrtle has requested that she come to one of KV's sessions with Dr. KV. Let's see what she has to say:

DR. KV: Well, Myrtle, KV has agreed that you may come to this session. What is it you'd like to talk about?

Myrtle: Well, you know, I think I've been keeping up my end of the bargain. My yarn is beautiful, and I have been trying very hard to stay clean, and doing a very good job of it. Not to mention that my pattern is a good one--as it is written, that is...

Dr. KV: And what seems to be the problem?

Myrtle: Problem? singular? I'm afraid it's much worse than that. Let's see, it started this weekend when she--KV, that is--spent about an hour swatching for the cobweb shawl from the last issue of interweave. I'm not even halfway finished. I thought we were going to have a little project monogamy around here-I'm not sure I would have signed on for anything else...

KV: Wait a minute-I was only looking.

Myrtle: Only looking? I don't think so. First you spent all that time with that internet porn. That ravelry site where you watch other people's knitting. Then the next thing I know, you've prepared one of those kits--you know, the plastic bag, the needles, the yarn, the pattern, for that, that, that, other stole.

KV: Porn? what are you saying?

Myrtle: you know, looking at all those projects on Ravelry. Looking at other people's lace projects. I could almost hear you thinking...maybe if I start now I can have the first one finished. But what about me?

DR KV: I see, Myrtle, you expected that this relationship would be monogamous. That KV would knit only you.

Myrtle: Well, not completely, but I guess I did expect that I would be the only lace project...

KV: I guess my eye is wandering. I feel like I've got Myrtle just about memorized, and she's not such a challenge anymore.

Myrtle: Memorized? and what about this--Dr., you may not be able to see this, but KV made these mistakes and then kept on going -she's just stopped being as good to me as she used to be:

Dr. KV: MMM...KV?

KV: Well, I guess I was thinking that I might just keep going. I thought maybe nobody would notice it.

Myrtle: No one notice it? And what about me? I notice it.

KV: OK, OK, I'll tink it. You're right Myrtle, you deserve it. You've been great.

DR KV: So maybe we're making progress here? Myrtle, KV seems to be taking your complaint about her carelessness toward you seriously. She's going to fix you. But as for the other question, the monogamy question, that's a big issue. One that KV and I have been working on for a long time. I see that our time is up, and I think we may have to revisit this question in another session. It was nice to meet you., you are lovely--and so clean.

KV and Myrtle exit. Dr. KV walks over to her computer, opens her Ravelry page, and mutters..."cobweb stole..what can she be talking about...maybe I could be the first......